The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
