he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.