the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
no you cant smoke seaweed
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.