why didn't you poke me back
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.