batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
