I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind