I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
