This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Drunk is not a location!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
