You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
