mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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