you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
