Don't you send me to vm
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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