Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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