whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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