At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
