I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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