All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
