Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
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i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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