Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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