I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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