I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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