its not stalking. its research.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
