Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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