Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
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Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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