We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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