is your mom at the bar?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
