Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Farmville is her only friend.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
