cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize