Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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