he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
