Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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