Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
