just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
