He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
