do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
