Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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