Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
