Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
