Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
