If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i dont even know how to be here
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
