You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize