Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
