i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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