i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
