Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
