walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
