Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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