its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
