your thong is hanging out like whoa
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
COCAINE IS GR8
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
