Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I love having hate sex.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
