I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
