the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
