She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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