coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
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Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
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The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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