at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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