so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
