Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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