im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
