i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
