Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
