I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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